Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Inner peace (at last)

I am passing this on to you because I know we could all use a little more inner peace.   I'd like to claim this is my idea but the truth (I think) is that it originated from Dr. Phil.  Apparently on one his shows he gave this sterling advice;

"the way to achieve inner peace, is to finish all the things that you started and have left unfinished"

Wow, that sounded like just the tonic for me and my troubled soul.   So I looked around my abode for unfinished things.  Being an action guy this is what I accomplished:

I polished off the last half of a pumpkin pie
It was difficult but I finished off the rest of a bucket of ice cream
3/4 of a bottle of red wine...gone
and the last 5 bottles of a case of beer are now history...

feeeling pretttty pppeaceful....gooodd nightt

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Some questions are just dumb

This morning I was reading an article that asked...how much good can you take?   Then I found this picture and thought....that's a stupid question!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A friend is...

After writing this line, I couldn't get one thought out of my head....'man I have a lot of friends'.  And since I'm so damn comfortable being stupid with so many, it's hard to say which one is my best friend.  

Friday, November 5, 2010

The end of stupid

"two things are infinite: the universe and stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe"  (Albert Einstein)

This morning I was enjoying my coffee and paper when I came across an article about, 'electric brain stimulation'.  It seems that just by giving students a very mild electric treatment, their math skills improved noticeably for up to 6 months.

"man is not born ignorant or stupid, he has to watch a hell of a lot of television to get that way"  (Guru Eduardo) 

WOW, this could be the end of stupid as we know it.   Imagine the possibilities, if we could give folks a quick zap and their brain would instantly work better?  I'd want to be the owner of a machine like that.   I could make a mega fortune with a franchise that had the rights to a machine that zapped stupid.   I think I'd call it...Stupid Be Gone.

Imagine what the world would be like if we could cure stupid?   Just off the top of my head here is what I'm thinking...

The Possibilities

*  no more reality shows

*  Paris Hilton would give up her party ways and join the Peace Corps

*  Donald Trump would give his money to the poor and get a better hairpiece

*  Politicians would serve the common good of the people they represent and not themselves.

*  Those skateboard and rap dudes, would buy pants where the crotch didn't hang down to their knees.

*  Plumbers would willingly wear crack cover ups

"When I think of all the stupid things I've done in my life, it's a wonder they still let me walk around freely on this planet.  And yet here I am, writing this article as if I had a brain." 
(Guru Eduardo)

At first I got really excited about the idea of a machine that would end stupidity.  But as I reflect on the possibilities and the consequences of the end of stupid, I thought to myself....what fun would that be?

 What would a world without stupid be like?

*  I would miss the fun of my neice telling me she was hitting the escape key on her keyboard and wondering why she was still there.

*  I don't want to live in a world without Homer Simpson

*  If it were not for stupidity, most of us wouldn't exisit.

*  I would have never seen the bumper sticker that said...."BAD COP...NO DONUT"

*  Women wouldn't ask questions like....do you want to talk about our relationship?

*  And men woudn't say stupid things like....come on girls, you don't think I'm stupid enought to make fun of my own kind do you?  

Now after reading this it occurred to me that someone might ask me a question pertaining to my theme of seducing life.   You know like....is stupidity seductive?   My answer...NO, that would be just stupid!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Rules of the World...Guru Edition

"reality is only for those with a really poor imagination"

Last post I shared with the 'Rules of the World'.    I studied those very carefully and just could not find any fault with any of them.   However, being a pretend Guru, I thought to myself.....'sure that was good but I could do better'.  So let the bells ring out, the banners fly...it's too good to be true, but here is the advanced version for Guru's.    The new and improved version..

1.  The need to be right, is not as important as the need to be kind.

2.  Whenever the popular opinion reaches an extreme, it's time to consider an alternative.

3.  The obvious is obviously wrong.

4.  Life is too much fun, not to make more mistakes.

5.  Some folks can stay stupid, longer than you can stay hopeful.

6.  Trying to succeed at what bores you, is like driving with your brakes on.

7.  It's not who you know that counts, it's who you know that likes you.

8.  There are three solutions to every problem.   The right one, the wrong one and a better one. 

BONUS;    "To continually beat yourself up over something that went wrong, is cruelty to a dumb animal."

Ok, there you have it, what do you think?   If you like it, hit the f button below and share it with your facebook friends.   If you don't like it, don't worry, you are most likely not alone. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Rules of the World

"anything is possible if you can have fun doing it"

Wouldn't life be a whole lot easier if you just understand the rules?   Luckly for you (and me) I found them.   They have been around for a long time but for some reason I keep forgetting them.   Fortunate for me, I keep rediscovering them.   Cleaning out my office, one more time the showed themselves.   Since they were written a long time ago, I've updated them by adding # 9.   Enjoy!

The Rules of the World

1.  You only get one body.   You may not like it, but it's the only thing you are guaranteed to keep for life.

2.  You will learn lessons.  Since Earth is a full time school, every person or incident is your teacher.

3.  Lessons often appear as mistakes or failures.   The only real mistake is not learning.

4.  A lesson is repeated until it's learned.   It will appear in various forms until you learn.   If you are still here, you still have lessons to learn.

5.  If you don't leaqrn the easy lessons, they get harder.  Pain is the one way the universe gets your attention. 

6.  You will know you've learned the lesson when your actions change.   Only action turns knowledge into wisdom.

7.  We tend to forget these rules.

8.  We can remember any time we wish.

9.  Anything is possible if you can have fun doing it.

Do yourself and others a favor by passing this on (especially to younger people).   It could sure save a lot of grief down the road.   Just hit the f button below and it will automatically put it on your facebook page.